HTCAB: Engineers

In HTCAB, Dave Hitz had some great stories about engineers that I wanted to share:

On a walk in the woods, an engineer sees a frog sitting on a rock. The frog says, "Hey, I'm not really a frog. If you kiss me I'll turn into a beautiful princess." The engineer picks up the frong and looks at it.
The frog says. "Aren't you going to kiss me?" The engineer shakes his head and sticks the frog in his pocket. The frog pokes its head out and whispers, "Look, if you kiss me I will do anything you want . . . anything." The engineer says, "Nah," and stuffs the frog deeper into his pocket.
The frog shouts, "I've got to get out of this frog body. I'll be your girlfriend for a year." The engineer says, "Who has time for a girlfriend? But a talking frog: that's really cool."

So true! I haven't had a girlfriend for a long time.

A young engineer was leaving the office at 7 P.M. when he found the CEO standing in front of a paper shredder with a document in his hand. "Listen," said the CEO, "this is important, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?"
"Certainly," said the young engineer. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. "Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I only need one copy."

Man, CEOs are dumb! I hope Dave Hitz's CEO never saw that or he'd be pissed. Or maybe that's a real story about his CEO!

The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The optimist sees the glass as half full. The engineer says, "This glass is twice as big as it needs to be."

Q: What's the difference between an introverted engineer and an extroverted engineer?
A: The extroverted engineer looks at your shoes when he talked to you.

So true. I guess CEOs are dumb, but I guess the message is that at least they'd make girlfriends out of their talking frogs.